Never His
by CalyRose
Summary: Delilah Amell returns to the Tower on her quest for help against the Blight and faces her past in a way she never expected to


Disclaimer: I own nothing except Delilah and this story...Bioware owns the rest...dammit.

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Delilah leaned against the doorway blowing a tendril of black hair out of her lyrium blue eyes, one of the few things she'd ever gotten from her family. Alistair approached her placing a hand gently on her shoulder. The mage looked over her shoulder at the former Templar and gave him a little smile, "I'm alright, it's just a little hard seeing my former home like this."

"Well we'll find the First Enchanter and we'll set things to right," vowed Alistair.

Delilah smiled again, gently, at the man who had come to mean so much to her. What she had with Alistair made her flirtations with Cullen pale in comparison. She remembered how she had flirted with the Tower Templar after her Harrowing and how he been blushing the whole while. Delilah chuckled inwardly, he was always so cute when he was flustered. Her blue eyes flicked to Alistair, maybe she had a thing for cute, shy men.

Her gaze went beyond him and met Wynn's, "So we've cleared the Tower floor by floor, room by room and still not sign of First Enchanter Irving."

The older mage frowned, "I do not imagine Uldred will have killed him just yet. All that is left is the Harrowing chamber. I suspect that is where we will find them."

The Harrowing Chamber...not a place Delilah thought she would ever see again, or want to for that matter. It might have been a quick, clean Harrowing according to Cullen but for herself she knew how tempted she had been to help 'Mouse', fortunately her natural suspicion won against her desire to help the supposed trapped mage and she had figured out he was part of her test.

"Well I assume that's the last room we have to check?" questioned Alistair. At Delilah's nod he smiled at her, "Look at it this way we're almost done! And after that sloth demon it should be a walk in the park!"

"'A walk in the park', he says" muttered Zevran. "Mio amico, I believe you and I have different ideas of a walks in park."

"I am not -" Alistair started.

"Enough!" Delilah cut in exasperated. "Let's get moving, find the First Enchanter, and hopefully get his help for Connor."

Wynn watched in no small amusement as both men looked abashed, it was clear the young mage had grown up quite a bit in her time away from the Circle and had turned into quite a leader. That was going to be exactly what was needed in order to end this Blight.

Together the two mages, assassin, and warrior made their way to where the Harrowing Chamber lay. As the entered the room just below a gasp escaped Delilah as she recognized the man in the magical prison before the group. Alistair shot her a sharp glance in concern at the gasp just to see that she had eyes only for the man in front of them.

"Cullen?" she asked hesitantly. Delilah hadn't expected to feel a rush of mixed emotions upon seeing the man in front her. She had wondered if he had been a casualty in the war in the Tower as her and her companions had made their way through it and had hoped not, a hope that had grown greater as they moved upwards in the Tower and she had seen no sign of the man.

"This trick again? I know what you are...I will stay strong...," Cullen panted. It sounded like he had run twenty miles in his armor...or that he had been a great deal of duress while imprisoned.

Delilah put her hands up skimming the prison and feeling little shocks bite into her palms, "Cullen! Don't you recognize me? It's Delilah!"

"Only too well. How far they must have delved into my thoughts," he bowed over refusing to look at her. The Amell mage could guess what that meant, the blood mages had been torturing him with illusions. "Enough visions," Cullen commanded confirming Delilah's suspicions. "If anything in you is human...kill me now and stop this game!"

"Cullen, I'm not going to kill you," protested Delilah pressing harder against the prison with her hands only to yank them back quickly before the pain got worse.

"You broke the others, but I will stay strong...for my sake...for theirs," he sobbed. "Sifting through my thoughts...tempting me with the one thing I always wanted but could never have." Everyone's eyes swung to Delilah as she blushed vividly. Well...cat was out of the bag now as Irving was fond of saying. "Using my shame against me...my ill-advised infatuation with her...a mage, of all things," he continued as rocked back and forth on his heels in the prison.

"Someone was quite the little heart breaker when they were an apprentice. My, my," teased Zevran who suddenly than had to jump back as a bolt of lightning struck where he had been standing. Alistair smirked at the elf assassin's startled expression.

"Zevran, now is NOT that time," snapped Delilah before turning back to Cullen hoping her voice would get through to him. "Cullen, please, it's not a vision. I'm real, I'm here. I promise you."

Again the Templar ignored her, "I am so tired of these cruel jokes...these tricks...these..."

"Cullen, it's Delilah. I am no trick and I swear I am no joke. I would never ever cause you harm, you know that," she said fervently.

He looked up at her and glared at her before pulling himself to his feet. "Silence!" Cullen ordered. "I will not listen to anything you have to say! Now begone!" He paused, obviously surprised when her and her companions did not disappear as he had ordered. "Still here? But...that's always worked before!"

"I'm real, Cullen, I promise. I'm here to help, I came back...just as I had said I would," Delilah commented referring to the brief moment she'd had with him before leaving with Duncan. The mage and the Templar had never said aloud their feelings for another, although she was always the aggressor flirting with him and it was rarely, if ever, the other way around, it had been obvious to both of them what the other felt. "Maybe you should try and calm down?"

"I am _beyond_ caring what you want! The Maker knows my sin, and I pray he will forgive me," Cullen spat angrily at the Amell mage.

Delilah backed up a step stunned, "Your sin? But Cullen...I thought...I mean..." She trailed off staring at the man in front of her.

He scoffed, "When you knew me, Amell, I was an innocent. I wanted to be Knight but I never thought about _why_ we were needed. Now, my eyes have been opened. I am no longer so naive, and I welcome the change." Cullen pinned her a cold look, "You are a mage, I am a Templar, it is my duty to oppose you and all that you are."

Delilah looked away from him, her eyes colliding with Alistair's. _Maker, Alistair! What must he think?!_ There was no ridicule or scorn however in _that_ Templar's gaze, only compassion and love – what she thought she'd had or could have had with Cullen at one point.

The imprisoned Templar called her attention back to him, "Why have you returned? How have you survived?"

"I told you I would come back...as for surviving? I've killed all the demons and abominations that have crossed my path."

The look Cullen gave her held a hint of his old warmth, "You should not have returned. Look at the havoc that Uldred has created here."

"Cullen, what happened?" Delilah asked gently.

"They caged us like animals...and one by one they all fell...all but me," he said quietly and brokenly.

"Be thankful it wasn't you," she said her thoughts on all the abominations she had seen as her and her group had traversed the Tower.

"Don't think I'm not grateful! But why should I still live when my friends lay dead, their bodies and spirits broke?!" The warmth that had been glimmering in his eyes vanished, "And to think I once thought we were too hard on you!"

"Not all of us are evil, Cullen. I'm not, nor is Wynn here."

"I noticed you didn't say anything about Morrigan," Alistair said in a low voice next to her ear. Delilah's lips twitched minutely in amusement, as her companion had no doubt intended. Over her shoulder she shot the warrior a look that clearly said 'behave'.

"Only mages have so much power at their fingertips, and only mages are so susceptible to the whisperings of demons." Cullen sighed relenting, "However you are right, some did fight back...for all the good it did them. Uldred took them all into the Harrowing Chamber. Maker the sounds that came from there..." He looked up at her, "Amell, you have to end it now!"

Delilah ignored the factor he refused to give voice to her given name when he had freely done so before she'd left the tower and instead responded to his demand, "I will **not** kill an innocent."

"Are you really saving anyone by taking such a risk?"

Shaking her head the mage looked the Templar whom she had flirted with continuously while in the Tower, and had even stolen a kiss from on occasion. "Cullen, do you really believe I would risk an innocent? Or make a decision before I have even seen what goes in that chamber?"

"You would doom us all with your compassion!" Cullen snapped.

"I would do much more than that if I killed everyone in that room! Maker's breath, Cullen, you should know well enough I would never ever do such a thing," Delilah said exasperated.

He scowled at her, "Do as you wish, you always did anyways. It's not like I can stop you."

The black haired woman placed her hand just above the barrier that imprisoned him, "I'm sorry, Cullen. Stay safe, please. I will be back once I've put an end to Uldred." With one last glance at the Tower Templar she turned away and headed up the stairs to the Harrowing Chamber with her companions following and wisely staying silent after witnessing such a scene.

* * *

Exhausted Delilah helped Irving down the stairs from the Harrowing Chamber. The battle against Uldred had sapped her of all her reserves and she wasn't looking forward to the inevitable confrontation she was going to have with Cullen and more than likely Alistair as well.

"Oh, dear, Ser Cullen, are you alright?" Irving questioned when he saw the man in question kneeling on one leg in the place where his prison had been. Cullen looked up at the question eyed Irving with distrust and than looked at Delilah his expression smoothing and betraying nothing. Without a word the Templar ran from his former prison presumably back to the main entrance of the Tower where Greagoir was.

"He's been through a lot, First Enchanter, he had been imprisoned in a magic cage of sorts when we found him. They apparently tortured him with visions of his dead friends," explained Delilah.

"Poor boy," sighed Irving causing Delilah's lips to twitch in amusement. Cullen was far from a boy.

* * *

Delilah listened absently as Irving reassured the Knight Commander that he was perfectly fine and that Uldred had been killed. She wasn't fully surprised when Cullen broke in protesting that the entire Circle needed to be cleansed as there was no telling if any mage harbored a demon within them.

"I side with First Enchanter, Knight-Commander, in that all the abominations within the Tower have been destroyed and Uldred did not get a chance to sway any other mages to him," Delilah stated calmly.

"Warden, may I speak with you before you leave?" Cullen questioned stiffly.

Alistair stepped forward as if to intervene between the Tower Templar and mage. Delilah placed her hand on his chest gently and shook her head. Cullen's eyes latched on to the simple gesture jaw tightening. "It's alright, Alistair," she said gently.

"Fine, but I'm going to be near by in case you need me," he said firmly. Delilah gave him a small smile accepting that, knowing he was stubborn enough to do so even if she told him not to. Turning she followed Cullen to a side chamber, away from prying eyes and ears.

"I don't see what we have to say to each anymore, Cullen. Obviously you consider the fact that you cared for me is a sin," the mage said.

"Delilah, please..." he said hesitantly.

"Please what, Cullen?" she demanded. "Before I left the Tower I thought we'd had something special, something worth cherishing...something I thought perhaps after the Blight maybe I could explore as I would no longer be chained to the Circle."

"Before you left the Tower?" he questioned. "But not now?"

Delilah took a step back running a hand roughly through her black hair, "What do you want from me? A confession of love? That I thought about you when I left the Tower, that I missed you, missed the stolen moments we'd had and the stolen kisses? I can't give you a confession of love but I can tell you all the others are true, or were. Cullen, you said the fact you wanted me, the fact that I am a _mage_ is a sin in the eyes of the Maker. If being a mage is sin than why does the Maker still allows our magic?"

The Tower Templar was quiet as he took in her words, "Please, Delilah, I am sorry for what I said." He reached out for her but again she backed up and this time right into Alistair who had come in unnoticed by either of them. The mage glanced up at him and a look passed between the two that Cullen could not fail to notice. "Is he why I am a past tense?"

Delilah opened her mouth to respond but Alistair cut in, "If I am than I am a very lucky man indeed. Delilah is something precious and rare in this world. You had a chance to treasure her, but in the end you failed and you lost her...if she was ever yours to begin with." With those words Alistair wrapped an arm around his fellow Warden's shoulder and was rewarded with a beautiful smile.

"Good bye, Cullen, I wish you happiness...just not with me anymore," with those words the two Wardens left the Tower Templar behind to soak in the factor that he had never truly had Delilah as his and now never would.

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A/N: Damnable plot bunnies. Here I was faithfully working on the latest chapter of Change when this pops into my head and will NOT GO AWAY until I wrote it. Dammit. As always please R/R!


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